Miss America was robbed. She was for world peace way before Obama was for it.

Bill Clinton called and was gracious in defeat; he offered to fly Kanye West over for the Nobel awards ceremony.

Was he, like, the tenth caller or something?

Bill Ayers stated he was "humbled" by the honor.

"Joe the Plumber" immediately asked for his share of the $1.4 million.

Joe Biden remarked, "Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think Barack would win that award."

It was an error in translation; Obama actually won the Nobel Appeasement Prize.

Dr. Orly Taitz remarks, "Now he can afford the lousy 12 bucks for a copy of his birth certificate."

General Stanley McChrystal asked, "How much did you say my military pension will be?"

Yassar Arafat's widow asks, "But how many Jews has he killed?"

Obama is becoming Jimmy Carter faster than Jimmy Carter became Jimmy Carter.

I'd like to buy the world a Coke.

Extreme right-wingers announce a boycott of dynamite.

Bill O'Reilly immediately wondered how he was going to be able to spin the news.

Obama was also awarded the Nobel Prize in chemistry. "He's just got great chemistry," says the Nobel Committee.

The Nobel Prize Committee must be staffed by out of work comedy writers.

It was the “Beer Summit” that put Obama over the edge.

The committee awarding Obama this prestigious award had a difficult time making its decision. It almost went to Mickey Mouse for his work with Daffy Duck in bringing talking animals closer together and his vision of a "No Cat" world.

"Yo, Barack. I'm really happy for you. I'ma let you finish. …but Beyonce had one of the best strategic arms treaties of all time."

As the committee made the announcement, once again Joe Wilson yelled "You lie!”

BREAKING NEWS: Obama just won the Emmy for "Best Press Conference." And the Academy just gave him an Oscar for a PowerPoint presentation he's going to make about world peace. And evidently he won a pro bowling contest in Milwaukee, a bass fishing contest in Arkansas, a blue ribbon for the biggest squash at the Iowa State Fair, the jackpot in the Megamillions lotto, and a poetry contest in Sheboygan.

There are sitcoms that aren't as funny as this administration.

Oh I see… it is now the Nobel Hopey-Changey Peace Prize! Is that a tingle I feel running up my leg?

I thought I should have won; I haven't fought with my wife in more than a year.

“Let’s see… I don’t dare keep the $1.4 million that comes with the prize… I could give it to charity. Yeah, that’s it, charity! Half to SEIU and half to ACORN!”

“Oh, yeah? Well, Tom Delay has better dance moves!”