For those who either immediately saw Obama as a con-man and did not vote for him, or who initially fell for his spiel and later came to regret it, you may feel a bit helpless waiting for November, 2012 to roll around. Short of finding the proof that will get the thug-in-chief deported to Indonesia, we may be stuck with the non-stop swooning of the mass media for another 45 months. Still, there are some little things you can do which, although they may not strike a blow for liberty, they can at least throw a monkey wrench into the mechanisms of growing leftist bureaucracies. Here are a few ideas:

Become a member of a minority group.

Whenever you fill out a government form that asks for your ethnicity, check one of the minority boxes, such as “native American” or “Pacific Islander.” The federal bureaucrats aren’t going to drop by to ask for your family tree, but their statistics will certainly get out of whack. Don’t feel uncomfortable listing yourself as “native American.” How do you know you’re not part Indian? Obama’s past is fiction, yours can be too!

Never hesitate to waste the time of a liberal activist.

If ACORN – or any other leftist group with which you disagree – comes knocking, don’t slam the door in their face. Let them take all the time in the world to go through their rehearsed speech. Ask them questions that make them think you actually care about the endangered “salt marsh harvest mouse.” Then ask for a photo I.D. if they should request a signature or a donation, and say, “You can never be too careful nowadays.” Copy their name on a notepad. After you’ve wasted a half hour of their time, tell them, “Thanks, but no thanks, I think I’ll stick to common sense instead,” and send them on their merry way. The more time they spend at each house, the fewer houses they can visit. And they may lose sleep wondering what all those people will be doing with their names…

Warning: ACORN volunteers have been known to call the police and make false accusations against “normal” people who annoyed them for one reason or another. It would not be a bad idea to record your conversation with the visitor. If he or she does get upset, just play back the tape for the police – and the police can then be upset with the activist instead of you.

Ask City Hall for a Marriage License… for a Threesome!

As long as liberals believe a man can marry a man and a woman can marry a woman, they likely would not object to a man marrying two women, or a marriage of three men or thee women… or even for or more! Why not trot down to City Hall (after first asking the local media to cover the event) with two friends (gender is not important) and ask for a marriage license for the three of you. When the clerk declines to cooperate, make a fuss. Demand to know why your rights are being violated! Ask, “Why should the government decide what defines a marriage? Why are you discriminating against us? Why can’t three people who love each other enjoy the rights granted to other Americans?” Take the issue seriously. Give an impassioned plea directly to the reporter’s camera, “Please, President Obama, don’t let our civil rights be violated! You promised to be a President of all the people!”

If you feel particularly bold, take an animal instead of two friends. If Steve can marry Mike, why can’t you marry a goat? If Kelli Carpenter can marry a cow (Rosie O’Donnell), why can’t you marry a duck? If Kim Basinger was allowed to marry a Jackass (Alec Baldwin), why can’t you marry a turtle?

Call the White House for your transmission repair.

Obama said that the federal government will “stand by” the warranty for any new car purchased from General Motors or Chrysler. Go ahead, call the White House at (202) 456-1414 and tell them your bands need tightening or there’s some slippage between second and third gear and you need to schedule your car for some warranty work. But don’t ask for a lube job – you’ve already been given one by Obama.

Go ahead and give volunteers an address.

When a “community activist” approaches you at a public place and wants a name and address, go ahead and give them one – but not your own. Don’t be obvious; they may be liberals, but they will eventually catch on to Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck entries. Give them a decent-sounding name and a valid address, such as “Ron Manelli, 4228 N. Hermitage, Chicago, Il, 60513.” (That happens to be the address of White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel, and is just an example of the process.) Feel free to search the Internet to find the address of a liberal politician or a leftist celebrity; use your imagination. At some point the mailing lists of ACORN, PETA, the ACLU, etc. will be chock full of these addresses and the mailboxes of famous but stupid people will be perpetually stuffed with junk mail asking for donations.

Get on Liberal E-Mailing Lists.

Set up a new e-mail account that you don’t plan on using. Then hit the leftist sites like moveon.org and sign up for everything in sight –- using that new e-mail address, a phony name, and the real address of a celebretard.

Establish Congressional Pen-Pals.

Send your favorite liberal Senator or Congressman a thoughtful letter telling him how great he is, raise a reasonable point or two, and ask where you can safely send a large campaign contribution. Use a fictitious name, but make sure you give the return address of another liberal Senator or Congressman. Just imagine Barney Frank’s staff waiting for a big fat check from Christopher Dodd!

Blame Rising Costs on Obama and the Democrats.

If you own a business and need to raise prices, make sure you emphasize that Obama and the Democrat Party are to blame. Don’t hesitate to post signs in your store that read, “Price increase due to Obama/Democrat tax hike!” Attach a note to your invoices that says, “We are sorry to have to raise our prices at a time when Americans are suffering, but we have no alternative to passing the cost of tax increases and global warming fees on to our customers. Unlike the government, our business cannot print money. Rest assured, however, we hope to be able to roll back these increases if the next election gives the nation legislators who will balance the budget and stop wasteful government sending.”

Mess with the Census

ACORN members and other leftist activists will be out in full force in 2010 working for the census. They will be doing their best to count every illegal immigrant in sight (and out of sight) to inflate the population numbers in liberal population centers. Why? To get the maps re-drawn to create additional Democrat districts. (Obama’s chief of staff, Rahm Emanuel, said “If you think redistricting is always partisan and political – which it is – it’s going to be on steroids this time.”) If the 2010 census is going to be a farce, both sides may as well play the game. If you live in a conservative area, make sure you inflate the numbers when the census-taker comes knocking at your door. If you’re married with two children, tell them you have four. Make up names and birthdates, and say they’re off at college. Don’t forget to include your brother-in-law Murray, who lives with you – along with his wife and three kids. And don’t forget the two tenants who rent the room above the garage… or your mother-in-law, who can’t be disturbed now because she is taking a nap in her bedroom (even if she’s been dead for a few years.) The more people who are counted as living in your area, the better the chances it will need to be split into two congressional districts. Voila! Two conservative congressmen instead of one!

Barter, Don’t Buy.

You’re a dentist and your friend is a plumber? Have him fix your pipes in exchange for your fixing his teeth. No money changes hands, no income is reported, and no taxes are due. Not everyone can do that, but do it if you can.

Be Careful with Charitable Donations.

Do your homework. Americans are the most generous people on the planet – but they are also the most gullible. Use the Internet to learn about a charity before giving them your hard-earned cash. Is that environmental group really interested in saving polar bears, or is it advocating global socialism? Most tax-exempt charitable foundations are left-leaning. If you are not, you don’t have to look far to find a worthwhile charity. Look for those that spend the least on overhead.

Refuse to Deal with Bailed-Out Businesses.

Bank of America took $5 billion in federal bail-out cash. If you have an account or credit card with BOA, cancel them and take your business elsewhere. Write BOA a letter telling them you believe in capitalism, not socialism, and their betrayal of American traditions and principles comes with a price. Do that for any business that accepted hand-outs from the government. (It’s tempting, of course, to tell BOA that you see no need to pay off your credit card because the company received a bail-out with your tax dollars, but that might be pushing it…)

Shop Carefully.

Don’t just look for the best products at the best prices; give your business to companies that believe in the free market and limited government. If the shopkeeper sports an Obama “Yes we can!” button, take your business elsewhere – and tell him why.

Vacation in the McCain States.

Planning a summer vacation? Why not skip the places that overwhelmingly voted for Obama, like San Francisco, New York, and Chicago. Visit Utah’s national parks, or see the Alamo in San Antonio. Spend your hard-earned cash where it’s appreciated. (The people are nicer there too!)

Wear an ICE cap!

Get together a group of your toughest looking friends, put on black T-shirts, and wear baseball caps with the letters I.C.E. (Immigrations and Customs Enforcement, formerly called the Immigration and Naturalization Service).Then hang out at strip malls that have a temporary jobs service office.

Boycott Hollywood Leftists.

Face it, most movies are lousy anyway. And anyone stupid enough to have told people not to vote for Bush because he was going to “legalize rape” deserves therapy, not my $10 to see her movie. (For the record, it was Cameron Diaz.)

Boycott Obamania.

If it’s got a picture of Obama or his wife on it, don’t buy it – no matter how much you may want it. Not even the Obama Chia Pet.

Boycott News from ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, MSNBC, the New York Times, etc.

Granted, that’s a lot of boycotting, but it’s worth it. Hit ‘em in the pocketbook. Advertisers, whether liberal or conservative, do pay attention to ratings.

Boycott General Electric and Disney.

General Electric owns NBC and MSNBC, so don’t buy GE products. Disney owns ABC, so don’t buy Disney products. (No, your kids won’t die.)

Most of all… have fun while you’re waiting for the end of the world!

Astute readers may have their own suggestions for this list. Send them to: colony14@gmail.com – but no illegal suggestions please.